The Alphabet Challenge: 'F'

I am a bit peeved. The salsa and dips industry is way too big and too many people are copping out and buying salsa in a jar. It's a waste of money; just grow/ buy some tomatoes, an onion, a chili of your choice (usually jalapeños), cilantro, and limes, and everyone will say "wow! that's like, the best salsa I've ever had!" All you have to do is chop up some plants and season to taste. Fresh salsa is probably the most frequently made concotion in my house during the summer, when the tomatoes in my mother's garden take up half a crisper drawer and 2 hungry teenage girls and an untold number of friends snack all day. My recipe is as easy as boiling water and I'm sharing it with you RIGHT NOW because it's no secret. 

Fresh Salsa:

3 tomatoes (diced to your preference)

1 onion (yellow is fine, but I prefer red)

Juice 1 or 2 limes, depending on size and flavor

about 2 tablespoons chopped cilantro (fresh)

Chili of your choice, I always use jalapeños (jalapeño guide at the bottom of the page)

Salt

a dribble of apple cider vinegar or red wine vinegar

I'm a bit obsessive about the size of my tomato chunks, so I squeeze about half of the tomato juice-guts and seeds into the bowl and, using my favorite sharper-than-blue-cheese chef's knife and dice/pulverize the tomatoes with the rocking technique. After all the tomatoes are diced, I cut the onion in half and french both halves. Then, once again, I rock the knife over all the slices until they're even smaller than the tomato pieces. For the cilantro, you guessed it, rock that knife until the cilantro is mowed down finer than fine and mix it in, followed by as much lime juice you think it needs; I usually start off with a whole one and taste. This is where I also salt and vinegar the salsa, because it's just more convenient to do it before getting capsaicin all over your hands. I'm a wimp and my skin is delicate, so I wear vinyl gloves while mincing/touching/thinking about chilis, for fear of repeating my Burning Finger-tips Fiasco of 2011 (I had jalapeño juices on my hands and, when I was getting into the shower, the steam made my pores open up and absorb all the capsaicin. I felt like I had 2nd degree burns on my hands for the rest of the night, even after soaking them in cold milk). So put on some gloves and either remove the ribs and seeds and dice it OR take a tip from Jamie Oliver (on of my favorite TV chefs) and zest that chili for an evenly dispersed spice throughout the whole bowl. Take a final taste test, cover, and chill for a little bit for the flavors to get married and start a family. Serve with your favorite tortilla chips and impress your friends! 

Peace, love, and capsaicin burns,

Auzzy~

Jalapeño Guide:

Jalapeños can be tricky little fruit to understand, so I've compiled everything I know about them in one little blip of a paragraph so that you can get the basic idea. Jalapeños get hotter as they age, so the theory is that, as with women, you can judge their age by looking at their wrinkles and skin color. Yes, jalapeños wrinkle. To choose a hotter pepper, shoot for a pepper with a healthy amount of wrinkles and as much redness as possible. For a more mild pepper, go for a firm, green young thing without a blush in sight. No matter what heat you're looking for, scrub your peppers with warm water and maybe a non-toxic soap to remove pests and pesticides and be very careful about what you touch: hint, if you wear contact lenses, you'll definitely want to wear some gloves. Happy hunting~